is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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