how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
