Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So vagazzling was a success
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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