Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
