I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
