drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
