If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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