the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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