this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
