The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
