this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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