I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
