Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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