he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
