Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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