He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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