yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
