Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
