But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Bring me that man meat
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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