was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
