So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
