she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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