She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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