I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
