I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think my vagina is haunted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize