Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
