its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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