I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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