I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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