So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
