Tell her she can't have a vagina
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
honey bunches of taint.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
