my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
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The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
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I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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