my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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