My room smells like vodka and shame
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
