Sponge bath it is.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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