why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize