Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
