I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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