so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
