There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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