So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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