thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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