great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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