Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
my poor anus
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
