why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
