You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
