Girls should come with a carfax report
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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