i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
