no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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