At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
