It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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