I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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